Not so scared

I feel different now. things look so fresh and dear. . .
That accident brought back old feelings to me.

During a class in primary school I was staring at
parts of my body — like nails，or hair，and then
As I looked more closely at them

I became aware of the particles that make up my body.

《” Like cells？”》

Even smaller than atoms or molecules.

However small, they're a part of me.
Then… I realised.
there are even smaller parts than the air,
which are still parts of me.
And all the particles
like that of my classmate’s, or a chair —

There are no boundaries between us.

Even the desk became me.

Then I thought of myself being split into two,
one as the particles,
and one as the person who became so conscious of these things.

That made me feel anxious…
and scared.

So I tried to distract myself from my thoughts
but instead I felt so lonely, because all of a sudden.
I found myself yearning for trees, leaves, ground, water.
They became so dear to me...
and i wanted to hug all of them and forget everything else.
It was this feeling.